Well, I finally decided to start a blog. Hmm..so here goes. As it seems this year is the beginning of a new phase of my journey through motherhood (and I have had quite a few interesting trips in the past few years), it seemed the logical place to start. So here we go-------------
Much to my dismay I was met with the news just before the beginning of 2011 that we were to be grandparents. Happy New Year to us! Yes, it met with mixed emotions, but also pride that abortion was not even a consideration, nor was adoption. Yes, it meant plans were definitely going to change, and life, as previously known, would be different. But..alas..we embraced this little miracle, and gift from above, with compassion, acceptance, and anticipation. After all, God makes no mistakes, only humans. :) The book of Jeremiah it tells us that He knows the plans He has for us, and though, yes, we alter them considerably at times, we know that He will never bring us to something that He is not already there for.
No, it was not exactly what the plans for life were at this point, but it is what God allowed to come to fruition. The first moments had to be handled with great care. Yes, one should think carefully how to handle oneself in such a situation, for those moments can mar relationships for life. And, unless you have been through it, you honestly don't know how you will handle such times. We chose to just handle it the way we would have wanted to be treated had it happened to us.
So...with great caution, much prayer, and a few tears, we moved on into this journey, together, as a family. Afterall, we had 'never done this before,' and if nothing else, the past few years have taught us a lot about dealing with what life throws you with forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and grace. For by the grace of God go we all, right? You can never know what you may face in life until you are in the throws of it. My motto for life began in about 2007- Access, Adapt, and Overcome. God gives the strength, I just have to show up. It 'ain't always easy'', and often there is a lot of heartbreak, many tears, and much disappointment, but overall......it is how we respond, rather than how we react to things in life that often show our true character. My Christianity has been tested, and re-tested, as has my faith in people. Thankfully, people are not where my real faith abides. My faith and hope abides in Him, and I trust that with Him, all things are possible, and my perseverance will conquer life's unexpected events.
Yes, life was not going to go according to plans anymore, and would change drastically, but, Lord willing, it would go...regardless. No, life was not going to go according to plans anymore, and would change drastically, but, Lord willing, it would go...regardless. LOL- either way --- it was what it was, and it was going to be an adventure.Thankfully, our baby girl has a man who continues to be supportive and loving. Thankfully, she has a family who is supportive, and loving as well. So once the initial emotions were dealt with, we embraced the impending birth with the same joy, anticipation, and planning that any one else would under traditional circumstances. We are to count it all joy, right? Yes, it isn't easy- and many times we want to scream and kick, stomp our feet, throw in the towel, and just totally be defeated, but He expects more from us.
I will admit to having shed tears, and praying for the first few days to handle all that would be ahead of us with His guidance- mainly not saying things that would be hurtful or that would be damaging to the relationships involved. Afterall, there but by the grace of God go most of us, right? No one necessarily plans to deal with many things that happen in life, but how we respond to it can make all the difference. There was definitely a barrage of emotions to contend with, and great care was taken with who was told, and when. I had been down that road before for other issues, and this would be no different in some ways, yet very different in others. I have learned in those times as well that acceptance does not equate approval, and if He can forgive my trespasses, and accept me at my worst, then who am I to do no less to others as well? Especially my loved ones - where unconditional love is not only expected, but necessary. Hmmm...talk about being accountable. :)
For a while we just absorbed the information amongst ourselves as a family. Afterall, we had 'never been through this before' so it was a learning curve of great magnitude. A few people were told, but the family was not told until the end of the first trimester. No sense in adding fuel to any small fires should something go awry. Yes, there were some comments better left unsaid, but such is life. Everyone is entitled to dealing with issues in their own way. Thankfully, the Lord has given us a spirit of forgiveness, and understanding.
And...thankfully, we discovered we had friends who were supportive and loving. If there were negative thoughts about this whole situation, thankfully we did not get wind of it. But...people are entitled to their opinions, right or wrong, and not much can be done about that. I imagine that many a tongue was waggin' when Mary had to share the news with her family, as well. Not that our daughter is being compared to Mary, but you get the general idea---- since the beginning of time, things have happened and not everyone is going to respond kindly.
However, we were blessed to have received some very supportive, loving, and encouraging responses, and that was truly a blessing. Sometimes other Christians can be your worst critics, so you have to be prepared for that ahead of time. I think overall there were only a few who were judgemental, or condemning, and my opinion of that is - well, the Lord will deal with them in His time. We have bigger fish to fry. Hopefully they came to some sort of reckoning with their reactions, and will be more gracious and less accusatory should they incur the same sort of situation down the road. Especially if they are ever faced with it in their own family.
We decided to tell only a few people at first. I was given permission to tell my BFF so that I had someone to cry, vent, talk, and plan with. She has no idea how helpful that was - I had a lot of emotions to contend with at first. :) , Rachel seeming to understand that I needed someone to talk to (as we had not told family yet), was a blessing to me. Then after the first trimester - family members were told- there were some comments made, but so be it. Moving along- they finally came to acceptance as well.
So....let me back this train up a bit and start from the beginning. Just before New Years we received the news. Honestly, a fleeting thought (and I do mean fleeting) had gone through my mind at Christmas, but I shrugged it off. Yeah..that has happened before. Not with our child, but with other women in my life- and they know who they are..lol. :) But here we were- hearing it out loud.
The next week was a visit to get confirmation of what we already pretty certain was a reality. Yep, there it was - a minuscule spot in what was an otherwise empty follicle- in my baby girl. Wow! Have never seen life at quite this point of being before. Amazing! Six weeks in, and to know it was a little person in the making, was just miraculous. So tiny- unbelievable that this little spot would grow, Lord willing, into a tiny, squirmy, crying infant in just a matter of weeks. Thirty-two more weeks to be exact!
Then the following week, was the official trip to the doctor which, needless to say, was not the best visit, as Mommy was not feeling so well, pretty much daily, at this point. But...alas, we got through it. This visit was to set up care and further confirmation of the due date. So...late August it would be. Let the fun begin- oh, yeah....needless to say...weeks, weeks,weeks, days, days, days, of sickness. (Been there, done that, don't need a T-shirt). Amazing how hard it is to watch your child be sick for so long. But..it is what it is. This too shall pass.
The next blogs will all be done in the same span of time initially, since I am 32 weeks into this adventure already. :) Hope I don't bore you with it all, and hope, if nothing else, you will see the unconditional love that can cover a multitude of life's woes, mishaps, and miracles. :) I hope to also learn more of the ins and outs of blogging. I can already see I have some things to discover. :)
Here we go.............................
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