Life changes

Wow....50 is just full of surprises around here. I am contemplating a business launch. We will see if that gets off the ground or just remains in the wishful thinking arena. But..it is an option. They say invention can come from desperation, and I am trying to find ways to speed the debt relief of the student loans, and a buffer for a loss of income, which I am hoping is just temporary, but in this day and time, you can just never know.

I also need to find ways to treat myself better. I have, more often than not, put my children and my home needs above my own. For exampe- I have needed to go get three dental repairs for at least two, if not three, years now. But, because I am focused on other needs, have yet to go. Maybe at the beginning of this next year, I will make the time. I finally took time last year to have a mammogram (though that is one thing I hate to repeat, but probably have to). As for doctor visits, I generally put myself last on the totem pole, and spend a large portion of my income paying off other's medical bills. Obviously by my current weight (which is not as much as it was in the past) is an area where I have really allowed myself to get in bad shape. Why, as women, do we do this to ourselves? Many of us can be so selfless to a fault and others treat themselves so well, or have spouses who recognize the need to pamper their mates. Another of life's marvels, to me.

I buy very little clothing, shoes, personal products such as makeup, jewelry, etc. But..Saturday I actually treated myself to a pedicure. WOW! I am pretty sure it has been MANY years since I did that!  Actually that day, whether I could afford it or not, I got my hair cut ($12), got a pedicure ($28) and purchased a pair of jeans and three deeply discounted shirts.

I knew I would not have funds for that any time soon, so decided I had better do it while I could. Earlier this year I spent quite a bit preparing for Little Miss Madison's arrival, though it was budgeted in, and many a sale/discount was used. (The crib was actually purchased with coins I had rolled last year and saved.)  This, of course, was before I knew I would be the recipient of a cut in pay. I am praying that this is only a temporary setback. The Lord has always provided, though it has been really tough at times, and I have to not worry and trust He has this all under control. I marvel at how the Bible says be anxious for nothing, yet we have daily issues to encourage doing just that very thing. I don't understand that at all.

So..candy buffet business or not, this year, and next, will prove to be quite full of changes in my life whether I plan on them happening or not. I even found myself applying for a stupid job on the weekend, in the event that none of the prayers work out, or the business never leaves the ground. Oh, well...I will have one thing sweet, and that will be you, Little Miss Madison.

Hmmmm...it also says that He won't send us more than we can handle, but I have to say that I often wonder just exactly how much He thinks we can handle sometimes. 'Cause right now I feel pretty much at my limit. So..bring on the blessings, dear Lord. We could really use a break.