All things come to those who wait

All things come to those who wait...and wait...and wait. Hahahahaha.

So, Little Miss, it is officially four days past your proposed due date. Your mom is anxious, no doubt, and I know there are many who are awaiting your impending arrival. Fashionably late, your mom says is 2-3 days, and she said 4+ is just Rude..hahaha. I disagree, but it would be nice for you to make your appearance at least by Thursday night, if you can arrange that with God. :) I know we would all appreciate it greatly. Your mom and dad the most, no doubt.

I have spent the past four days waiting for some thing or another- for the 1200 photos I managed to accidentally delete on my camera to be 'found,' for my hair color to set (yes, I finally conceded to that this year), someone to rescue us on the highway, for a flat to be changed, for laundry, for finding tires, for dinner to finish cooking, for new tires to be put on the car, for an inspection, etc., so I am nearing the end of my tolerance for waiting...hahaha. Not really, but it does seem that I have had to wait a lot of late.

Needless to say- I am not a terrible impatient 'waiter' but  waiting for you to arrive is more anticipation than true 'waiting,' in my opinion. I guess because I know it will be worth the wait. Much better than, say, waiting for the doctor to come humiliate you during a physical, or waiting for the McDonald's burger that is probably not going to set well with your tummy later, or waiting for traffic to move on I-40 during rush hour. 

So..as I approach bedtime, though I am anxious like everyone else to see you, I can wait until Thursday. But...if you have other plans, that will be fine, too. Just as long as you, and your mommy,  are healthy and safe upon arrival is the main thing. Good night, little lamb. :)

Time flying and fears

Well, Little Missy- oh, how this time has flown! We are down to the final days as we await your arrival. I am a mix of emotions. I am excited, and filled with anticipation of what/who you will look like, yet full of fear and anxiety as I worry about your mother and how she will fare during the delivery and post delivery. The thought of watching my baby suffering does not fill me with joy at all. I am extremely worried about her - I can only pray that God will give her a peace that transcends all understanding and that she can hold it together. She is strong, yet fragile at times. She is confident, yet anxious at times. She is a free spirit at times, yet deep and contemplative. She struggles with her emotions many days. She doesn't think I notice these things, but I do. I pray that on the day you are born that she can push her fears aside, stay focused on her goal- seeing you, and that He will protect her body and mind through it all. She will have to call upon Him and allow Him to work through her.
Will you have mommy's beautiful eyes? Or daddy's dimples? Or will you inherit Uncle Tyler's dimples? Or Pop Pop's? Will you have mommy's raucous laugh when she is really tickled? Will you be short and petite, or will there be some recessive gene that shows up and you grow to be taller than Uncle Tyler? :) Will you be a calm, contemplative spirit, or will you be spunky, loud and full of mischief? Will you inherit good eyesight, and not those of your mother's side of the family? Will you be witty (or have a sarcastic sense of humor) like your family members? Will you be musically inclined, or creative, or a good athlete? Will you love to read? Will your life be filled with abundant love and will you be taught to love your Lord with all your heart and mind?

So...as I try my utmost to let the Lord fill me with calm and peace about your arrival, I try to focus on other things.  But, Little Miss, no doubt I will be on pins and needles until you make your appearance and know that your mommy is going to be okay. After all- though I will love you immensely, I loved her first. :)

Photographs and memories

Today I opened my FB page and was just taken aback by the simple, yet beautiful, photo that your mommy had posted online, Madison. I found it to be tastefully done, and it just made me smile.

When I was carrying my children taking maternity photos was not a popular trend. There were generally just a few random baby shower shots. Or maybe we just never really gave it as much thought since we were just so occupied with work, etc. Sadly- those days can't be returned to us - and our brain's memories have to be our photographs. (I know our maternity clothing was not attractive..lol...maybe one reason we avoided cameras..hahaha.)

It is amazing just how something so simple as a photograph can touch your heart. The range of emotions a photograph can stir up can be so mixed.  I am not just referring to the one this morning, but photos in general. They bring to mind so many memories, some good, some sad, some bad. They can conjure up tears, smiles, and laughter. They show where you have come from, and how you persevered when facing life. They show things often missed in the moment.  I hope  we don't always need photos to remind us to not miss the moments. Time is so funny- it often feels as if it drags, and other times it feels as if it flies by, but regardless of which occurs, it cannot be recaptured.

The picture today showed so much promise.  I look so forward to seeing the rest of the pictures from the photo session. I look for more to your arrival and all the promise that life will bring your way even more, and when I am older and the mind is not as sharp, I will have the photographs to bring those memories back to mind.

Life changes

Wow....50 is just full of surprises around here. I am contemplating a business launch. We will see if that gets off the ground or just remains in the wishful thinking arena. But..it is an option. They say invention can come from desperation, and I am trying to find ways to speed the debt relief of the student loans, and a buffer for a loss of income, which I am hoping is just temporary, but in this day and time, you can just never know.

I also need to find ways to treat myself better. I have, more often than not, put my children and my home needs above my own. For exampe- I have needed to go get three dental repairs for at least two, if not three, years now. But, because I am focused on other needs, have yet to go. Maybe at the beginning of this next year, I will make the time. I finally took time last year to have a mammogram (though that is one thing I hate to repeat, but probably have to). As for doctor visits, I generally put myself last on the totem pole, and spend a large portion of my income paying off other's medical bills. Obviously by my current weight (which is not as much as it was in the past) is an area where I have really allowed myself to get in bad shape. Why, as women, do we do this to ourselves? Many of us can be so selfless to a fault and others treat themselves so well, or have spouses who recognize the need to pamper their mates. Another of life's marvels, to me.

I buy very little clothing, shoes, personal products such as makeup, jewelry, etc. But..Saturday I actually treated myself to a pedicure. WOW! I am pretty sure it has been MANY years since I did that!  Actually that day, whether I could afford it or not, I got my hair cut ($12), got a pedicure ($28) and purchased a pair of jeans and three deeply discounted shirts.

I knew I would not have funds for that any time soon, so decided I had better do it while I could. Earlier this year I spent quite a bit preparing for Little Miss Madison's arrival, though it was budgeted in, and many a sale/discount was used. (The crib was actually purchased with coins I had rolled last year and saved.)  This, of course, was before I knew I would be the recipient of a cut in pay. I am praying that this is only a temporary setback. The Lord has always provided, though it has been really tough at times, and I have to not worry and trust He has this all under control. I marvel at how the Bible says be anxious for nothing, yet we have daily issues to encourage doing just that very thing. I don't understand that at all.

So..candy buffet business or not, this year, and next, will prove to be quite full of changes in my life whether I plan on them happening or not. I even found myself applying for a stupid job on the weekend, in the event that none of the prayers work out, or the business never leaves the ground. Oh, well...I will have one thing sweet, and that will be you, Little Miss Madison.

Hmmmm...it also says that He won't send us more than we can handle, but I have to say that I often wonder just exactly how much He thinks we can handle sometimes. 'Cause right now I feel pretty much at my limit. So..bring on the blessings, dear Lord. We could really use a break.

Busy, busy weekend

Wow! What a crazy weekend. I burned up the roads, no doubt. Saturday I got my hair cut in Mebane, had lunch and a pedicue in Burlington, ran to Durham over to Hillsborough (technically) to set up a candy bar for a bridal shower, and finally had dinner about 9:45 after I got my shower.

Sunday was church, home to put recycle out, back to Hillsborough to continu set up for the candy bar/bridal shower, back home to pick up one of Rach's friends, then to Mebane for the second baby shower, then back to house to drop off said friend, back to Hillsborough to pick up all of the loaned items for the bridal shower candy bar, and finally back home. Whew!

Little Madison- you were blessed yet again by your daddy's family and friends. It was a low key event, and you received some very useful and cute things. I don't know if your parents have any idea how truly blessed they have been in the past 9 months (technically you began your 36th week on Friday). So many don't have nearly the lve and support that they have received. Your mommy has yet another shower next Monday night, so you just sit tight until after that.
Made me think about all the things in life we just take for granted and how the Lord so richly blesses us. Even in small, subtle ways that we often don't even think about until much later in life. He is so good, Madison, and I hope that you will be raised to know this and about his grace and mercy. He wants the best for us, but we, in our humanness and sinful ways, often make it difficult to receive the blessings He wants us to experience.

Yesterday, my little one, you were blessed. Know that. I don't take it for granted. I am just grateful.

Well, today is your great-grandmother's 70th birthday, so off I go to see her for a bit. She is going to love you, little miss. No doubt about it. You will capture her heart, and I hope she will live to enjoy you for at least ten more years, minimum, Lord willing.